♥ Overflowing ♥

How many doctors do I still need to consult with? How many times shall I live with pretended hope? How long shall I need to bear the pains? How many times do I need to hide and pretend that I am as normal as anybody else?

I meant not to complain. I meant not to blame. All I need is acceptance. But how is to accept the fact and the truth? I tend to open my eyes and see the most vulnerable man and unfortunate being in my world. I can still say "I AM MORE THAN LUCKY." I have my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my nose to smell, my tongue to taste and my lips to speak to, my both hands to touch, and my feet to walk even though there's something special on them.

All along I pretend to be normal. I tend not to feel the pains and pangs during my younger days. I did what an athletic youth does -- play the best as I can be and be the winner. But during this battle of hopes and dreams, I can sense that I am slowly giving it all up. I tried hard to chaste my dreams and somehow feel it through to success. At the end of every story, as I runned through the finish line, I came to be the winner and loser of all. I gained to achieve my dreams those times of my youth but upon reaching the stage of maturity, I lose all I have worked hard to -- my dreams die. I have to give up all of my physical activities as an athlete. Worst as I can foresee, I can barely walk too long with my foot.

I tried and gumbled. I face all the blames for all this physical pains. But who am I not to go through my dreams? Somehow, I have had asked myself many times if dreams does come true? If it's all worth it to give it another shot or worth to shut it all down into the back of my mind? They say that I can do some other things that may not trigger the pains. But my system all does know is what I am used to. The norms inside me is to be physically active. That's how my life goes during my childhood. But when I slowly feel the pain, I have to change gear in my life. All of a sudden, I am chasing life.

What life has to really offer me?

Years have passed. NOW, I still feel a little hope in me that everything may somehow be corrected without any surgery. I have tried so hard to look for cure even to lessen the pain. Well, therapy does some a little help but for how long? How long I can withstand the expenses and the gruelling effort to maintain a balance in me? How long can I withstand the aches I cry when I am in pain? One saddest truth that bares all of my fears -- the doctor said to me: There's nothing we can really do with it, you can never be pain less coz it's already there. Not unless you want to undergo surgery. But it is not really advisable now. -- those words seems like anesthaesia injected in my veins and made me so numb.

From there, its not about my dreams anymore. It is more on living the life I wanna live. How will I go through this life? ACCEPTANCE is so far to reach. I am still on denial that nothing will be done. But hey, maybe all of my doctor's were right. Coz maybe this is really the life I have to live that my God wants me to pull through.

Acceptance is one aspect I am still learning through. One day at a time, I know I can bear things on my shoulder.

♥ Solitude ♥

...But y♥ur S♥litude will be a supp♥rt and a h♥me f♥r y♥u, even in the midst ♥f every unfamiliar circumstances, and fr♥m it y♥u will find all y♥ur paths... -- rainer marie rilke

Each stressful days

Only deserve a rest

Finding Solitude

Is the best seeking

I can ever endure

When I am where

I find peace within

I find the holistic

Value of Life

To know all the

whatabouts

whereabouts

To feel the surroundings

To see what's really there

Makes me feel good

To be home

With myself;

I am no angel

Neither have I demons

Inside me is truly

Where I am belonged to

Away from critics

Away from compliments

Only genuine peace

Is my companion

Goodbye sorrows and pains

Hello again to a wanderer

To go where I shall be

Only tomorrows shall be unseen

But Now I will prepare

For it will be stepping stones

For a much awaited glory

Of my future

Yesterdays will be memories

Memoirs that will only linger

In times most appropriate

Today is mine

For tomorrows beauty and splendor

Will last a lifetime.

♥ l0vE y0uRseLf ♥

From Positive Thoughts...

Love  and  Accept  yourself as you are right now.

Remember, loving ourselves has nothing to do with vanity or arrogance—these emotions are only expressions of fear. When we love ourselves, we cherish and appreciate the wondrous beings that we are. Loving ourselves creates a life of joy and fulfillment.
It’s hard for other people to love you when you don’t love yourself. Even if someone else does love you, you’re most likely to discount it by wondering, How could they love me? What do they see in me? When you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to believe that you deserve good things in life. Therefore, you miss out on the abundance that’s available to you.
If you find it difficult or scary to accept love and to let love into your life, it’s only because you haven’t been willing to love you. Open your heart to yourself and it will become easier to let others love you. Stand up now, open your arms wide, and say out loud, “I’m willing to let the love flow!”
You might say, “I do love myself,” and that may be true. But how much more could you love yourself? Look around in your life and see where you’re lacking love. Look at your relationships, your work, your finances, your health, and your ability to express yourself creatively in ways that are fulfilling to you. If any of these areas are lacking, then you need to love yourself more.
Stop criticizing yourself—now and forevermore. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. When you do, you’ll blossom in ways that you can’t even imagine. Love will heal you, I promise. Your love for yourself will work miracles in your life.

Louise L. Hay

♥ Virtue of GrandparentS♥

one thing my grandparents taught me in life is the VALUE OF FAMILY TIES...

one thing I will always remember the rest of my life -- they have 7 kids

& till their old age came they are always stickin to each other...

one wish I am keeping in my life is TILL THE NEXT GENERATION,

the closeness will never tear apart no matter what obstacles will come....

may the LOVE will continue to flow... ♥

For you may have friends & your money left & right

but the FAMILY will stand FIRM for you no matter what

most especially when everyone left u & u feel all alone...

☺ i♥myFAMily ☺

♥ Happy Birthday, Mama ♥

" A   Mother's   Love "

Lumipas na ang mga taon

Eto pa rin ako't nagbibilang

Ilang taon pa ang daraan

Nang hindi ka kapiling;

Lumipas na ang pighati

Ngunit balot pa rin ng dilim

Pusong lubos na nangungulila

Sa iyong mga yakap't halik;

Sa mga alaalang iniwanan

Ang sulyapan ito'y kasiyahan't

Luha'y muling magdaraan

Magmamarka ang kadalisayan;

Pagmamahal na wagas

Hindi maihahalintulad

Hindi maipagpapalit

Lubos na mananahan;

Dito sa kaibuturan

Nang aking pagkatao

Nanamnamin ko

Ang mga sandaling ika'y andito;

Sa mga sakit' pait nang nakalipas

Natutong magpakatatag

Nanalangin sa may Itaas,

Sa mga ngiti't tawanan'y

Hatid abot langit na kagalakan;

Hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan'y

Pinakitang pilit pusong mairog

Sa'kin pangarap'y nagpatianod

Naghintay ng walang patumangga

Sa sandaling pinakaaasam-asam

Ang sandaling oras na tayo'y

Naging ISANG BUONG PAMILYA;

Ilang oras na laan

Ilang segundong nagdaan

Sa'king pakiwari'y buong buhay

Ang dumaan't walang hanggan;

Sa huling pagkakataon'y

Nalasap ang mumunting saya

Dulot'y kapayapaang

Maghahatid sa iyo sa dako paroon;

Hanggang sa huli'y ika'y nagparaya't nagbigay

Alaala nito'y hindi mapapawi

Mag-aalab sa puso ang nasimulan

Pangako'y bigyang katuparan 

Patuloy na aabutin

Naudlot nating mga pangarap; 

Gaano man kasakit ang pamamaalam'y

Batid kong may nakatakdang araw

Sa muli nating pagsasama't

Hanggang sa muling pagkikita;

Sa minamahal kong Ina

Taos pusong PASASALAMAT ay handog

Walang ginintuang salita ang tutumbas

Sa kadalisayan ng iyong pagmamahal.

Maligayang Kaarawan, Mama!

Buong puso kong panalangin ay

Iyong kasiyahan't kapayapaan

Sa piling ng mga anghel

Sa lugar kung saan

May walang hanggan

WE   LOVE   YOU   and   MISSES   YOU   SO   MUCH,   MAMA...

(Alam kong hanggang ngayo'y hindi mo pa rin kami pinapabayaan lalo si Tisay. Ramdam ko sa bawat yugto ng buhay ko mula ng ika'y mawala ang mapagmahal mong presensya. Lubos akong nagpapasalamat, Mama. Kailanma'y walang makakapalit sa pagmamahal ng isang ulirang ina. Mananahan sa 'king puso ang bawat pahina ng ating kwento. Hugs & Kisses, Obelle)

New haircuts... :)

I went outside our house after my days at the hospital and recovery days, to have my haircut. :) My tita Paz and I went to Olivarez Plaza to have some stroll as well as I haven't really seen the new things after a year abroad. Dami na rin nagbago but few still remained. I am happy to see few familiar faces. :) Anyways, had my new haircut in the new parlor in town. So far I like it! Gupit ni ateng! Hehehe I super like the gupit of tita paz. She looked young & beautiful. Mura rin ang gupit. :) Php60/gupit na todo blower pa ang aming hair at todo ayos si atey. Kaya naman todo tip rin ako. Hehe

Masakit ang ulo ko kaya nagpabawas ako hair... Hehe

♥ One Day... I will... ♥

After all that had happened, I believe that God has its purpose. This isn't the end of everything in my life. I may still feel the physical pains and to be honest, am not quite sure now whether it is because of my hip dislocation or other sets of malfunctioning organs inside me. What the heck!?! I should fear not no matter what it is. For I know deep within that God is in Me. He will never foresake me nor abandon me. This is just a test of Faith. I succumb to giving up but my heart says I wanna live and let live. I still have hopes and dreams to pursue. I know now that the roads to my success will never be an easy road yet a sturvy and winding road. But by far, I can still see the farthest horizons. I have in my heart the seeds of my dreams. I know it's just a matter of believing and a Leap of Faith in making my destiny a far-off reality.

With God's graces and a seed of love in me, I will partake to the society of dreamers and doers.

I will achieve IT! -- positive mind gains a positive outcome.

♥ Weston Cr Park 2010 ♥

First encounter with the Kangaroos. ☺

Family Bonding in this Sunny weather of Spring Time. Overlooking the Telstra Tower.

Laman nito ♥

Plano ng plano

Wala rin pala

Nakakalungkot

Nakakadismaya;

Pinuno ko ng galak

Sariling sabik sa bakasyon

Hinangad'y makita't madama

Ganda ni Inang Kalikasan;

Ngunit SINO ako?

Upang suwagin ang plano

Nang nag-iisa kong gabay

-- si HESU KRISTO;

Sutil ako't naisipan'y

Planong side-trip pa

Bumiyahe sa 'san mang trip

Upang lasapin ang sinasabing 'saya';

'Yon ang aking hangad

Sa kalooba'y ninamnam

Alinsabay sa'king pagpapagamot

Ilang buwan hinintay't

Inasam ang masiglang bukas

Inuusal ang ganda't dalisay

Ngunit mapag-biro ang tadhana

Iba ang dumatal

Sa apat na sulok'y nasadlak

Suwero't kung anu-anong gamot

S'yang tumarak sa'kin -- nanlalambot

Katawan'y sumuray lamang

Sa kamang hindi ninais

At sa kailanma'y ipagtatangis;

Walang magawa't nahapis

Tuluyang ako'y nauwi

Sa karamdamang inakala ko'y

Simpleng gamutan

Tuwiran rin giginhawa

Subalit pilit nagkukubli ang sakit

Pilit labanan'y nagsusumiksik

Ang kinasapitang pait;

Ngayo'y nalugmok sa aba

At naghimutok ang pandama

Bumulong ang pusong napapagal

Sa katahimika'y pumailanlang

Ang taimtim kong dasal...

Hesus ginawa mo ang lahat ng may buong pagmamahal;

Tulungan mo akong tuwiran kong maunawaan ang kahulugan

ng Banal na Espiritu sa Aking Buhay

Nang sa gayon'y magawa ko ang iyong mga ninanais

na naayon at nararapat sa kagustuhan ng Ama.

♥ The Beauty of HER is well-loved HAPPINESS ♥

"Madinig ko lang ang matinis mong tawa at makita ang iyong kaaya-ayang ngiti, taglay na ang ksiyahang mananahan sa'kin kaibuturan. Ikaw ang saya sa bawat hirap at pait ng buhay, iginigiya mo ang puso kong lumbay sa tahanan nitong sisidlan ng matiwasay..."

Love u Tisay.. :) -- Ate Obelle ☺

"TISAY"

Isang ngalan na laging umuukilkil

Sa isipang lubos ang paghanga't pag-aalala

Masdan ka lamang'y

Napupuno na ng sigla

Bawat pintig ay umuusal ng dasal

Na sa bawat bukas natin'y

Isang masiglang ngiti

Ating magkasamang sasalubungin;

Para sa aking kapatid

Sa bawat minutong dadaan

Sa kailanma'y hahagkan't

Yayakapin ng buong

Pagmamahal

Na siyang buhay't lakas

Sa nanghihina nitong kalooban;

Hindi man maisatinig ang saloobin mo

Sa tingin at ngiti mo lamang

Sa bawat halik at yakap mo'y

Ramdam nitong puso

Ang buong lugod mong

Pagmamahal

Na sa hinagap'y

Hindi maikukumpara

Sa ano man yaman;

Tangan sa'kin kaibuturan

Ang lubos na pasasalamat

Ikaw'y tila ANGHEL

Na nagningning sa liwanag

Sa hardin ng aming buhay.

(Love you so much, Ate Hanzel)

♥ _0Belle_♥

♥♥♥ I wrote this poem for my sister, Hanzel, who is a special child since birth. She has a Cerebral Palsy but SHE was a heavensent angel from God to us. Just awhile ago, on this date of 30 June 2011, I felt so sicked and when I was about to give in to this pain, I saw her smiling. I heard her ever enthusiastic laughters. When I felt the pangs of all this health problems, she looked at me immensely, and heard her murmuring sounds. I felt so comforted by her! I couldn't help myself but look back at her again and ask myself --- what could be most painful to her yet she still manage to smile back at me. Once in every while, I can hear her cry. I can even saw her tears falling down her eyes. And I couldn't figure out what kind of pains she's suffering to made her cry. She couldn't utter her own pains while me I could say out loud. But she's still there, firmed and have that beautiful smile. Then, I only found myself wrap around her arms, crying deep inside me. Coz I couldn't do big things for her to cease her pains and sufferings. And my mind could think of is -- let me suffer for her coz I couldn't see her suffer more -- and I PRAY, in my silence, I ask for God's protection and graciously loving hands to always look after her all throughout our days together. All of my words wouldn't be suffice to represent my love and care. With our mother's passing, my world now stops at looking on them cos my sister and my brother taught me to be strong and constantly reminding me of my FAITH. I've just realized how my world moves -- IT's for them and IN HIM.

I am so grateful coz the most beautiful blessings I can ever have is THEM.

All of my love, Obelle ♥♥♥

Morning @ War Mem'l 2011

Morning @ War Mem'l 2011, a set on Flickr.

"The Beauty of Nature"

One morning of February when I take time to stroll around the area of ACT after dropping off my brother to school, Campbell HS. I parked my car in the parking area of War Memorial which is just a walking distance from the school. Then I head off to take landscape pictures and hoping that I can get inside again of the Museum, but to my dismay, it was still close cos I was too early I guess? so I just take the chance to this picturesque and grab my newly owned Sony Camera... :D

PLANS? what the heck!

I am on the panic mode now. coz with less than 2 weeks from now, I will be travelling to gensan via cebu and sidetrip to bohol sana. but as the days coming nearer, it seems that it's getting away from me. I had booked my promo ticket months ahead but until this very moment that I am writing this, I haven't book yet my accomodation in cebu nor in bohol. Now, I feel that it's so hard talaga to make plans. AYOKO na talaga! andami kasing kontra... :D hehe now i've come to realized na ang hirap rin pala ng spur of the moment. :( kasi yun ticket ko out of nowhere k lng nabili, when I got to browse cebupac website and had a chance for the promo fare, I booked right away even without plans of any itinerary or whatsoever. ayun. I've tried to browse over the net, may npupulot nman ako mga ideas and advices which is ok nman. Kya lng at this point in time, may mas matindi akong kalaban, and that is, MONEY. I'm running out of budget na coz of my medication. Yun allotted budget ko for my trip wala na ksi nagastos ko nrin sa pagpapa-check up ko at mga gamot. Sad to say, kinulang pa ako. whewww.. kaya ngayon ay hindi na ko mapakali. ang hirap prn talaga kapag ang kalaban mo na ay kaperahan, wala ka ng magagawa. so now, I am thinking twice. Haisst... bkit kaya gnito ano? tama o mali na ba ang mag-plano ako??? coz it seems that all of my plans just vanishes away. or ako na yun may problema??? i don't know... lahat na lang kasi ng plano ko hindi natutuloy o di natutupad. ayoko ng mag-plano!!! pero nakatatak naman sa isipan ko yun sabi samin nuon ng management professor ko na ' mas maganda pa rin ang may plano kasi kahit na pumalpak ka sa attempt mo meron ka prin pagbabagsakan ng pagsisimula mo ulit, may pattern na susundan, meron guide.' sabi yun ni Sir De Vega. :) hehe

anyways, what shall I do na nga ba? I am running out of money and running out of time na rin. Hindi pa plantsado ang itinerary ko. talaga bang ang sistema ko na ay 'BAHALA NA' movement? but heck NO! I don't wanna rely on bahala na. I want directions. un ang isa sa reasons ko talaga that's why I booked this flight. To get to know myself better at makapag-relax at unwind na rin. Hayyysss... mangyayari pa kaya ito? tskkk tskkk tskkk... lagi na lang ganito... :( lagi na lang si plano pero walang nangyayari.. huhuhuhu :((

Nun una, punong puno ako ng excitement pero sa lumaon at madali, hindi pala matutuloy... hahahaha nakakatawa nlng ang nakakalokang mga pangyyari sa buhay ko... kasi naman... :-/

One thing, I realized and proven to myself, "I CANNOT GET EVERYTHING I WANT in one turn."

Hindi ko na kayang pagsabayin ang mga gusto ko. Is this really a calling for a "CHANGE"?

Let's see... I am still full of hopes kahit may doubts and fears na ko nararamdaman. I know, God is within me and HE is in control of everything in my life.

So, till next time folks.... I can still feel a lit' excited on what's gonna happen... hehehe

WE WILL SEE.... ^_^

"Everything happens for a purpose."

Coast Trip of Summer 2010

XpL0rVenturTime@obelskhie.hanzberj's photostream on Flickr.

My First Coast Trip at the Land Down Under :)

I've been here twice already during the Summertime of 2010 with my Aussie Family. I had a memorable moment here during my 2nd visit wherein I was nearly drowned while enjoying the peaceful view yet tricky serened waves of the sea. :D I'm thankful for our life savers (Aussie Pipz)...hehe



Location: Mullimburra Point, Bateman's Bay, NSW, Australia
Date: Summer 2010
Travel time: 2 - 3 hours from Canberra

Pros: FREE of any fee, only the fishing permit fee if you want to do some fishing which is fun thing to do with family and friends while enjoying the beach. Good for sunbathing and photo ops. After the beach, there's a picnic area nearby where u can do bbq time.

Cons: During my 2nd visit, afternoon time, there's this itchy stingy bottled fish that gave skin rushes so when most of the kids got it, we packed up immediately and went to the picnic area for food trip. :)
No proper toilet & bath where u can pee & change so what we do during our 2nd visit, we bring our camping gears like tents and banig, tables & chairs and set it up there which is fun. :) There's this public toilet but so smelly.

Tips: Need to go to PEE? The ocean is a vast option. hehe or you can wait until u are off to drive back home. Then go to nearest food chain if you need to use toilet. In bateman's bay proper, they have a mall. Bring plenty of tissue paper and sunblock moisturizer/lotion. Always bring your first aid kit. :) Bring a drum of water or I will suggest to have your portable shower if you can (if you want to get a lit' bit of shower before you go to your next destination).