It's been a long while since the very last post I made here. I kinda miss the fun of having my fingers back on my keyboard again to entail the things on my mind and my experiences. To give you a short update of what's goin' on with my life now. Well, I am already here in Canberra, Australia since April 17, 2010. Wow! I never could imagine that I will be here in the Land Down Under. I thought this would not be possible. But it's just believing that everything is possible with HIM. It's been a long wait and have gone thru many obstacles as well before this dream has come true. Now I know that wherever is my Mama right now, she is indeed happy and quite sad. Me as well, I feel that kind of emotions because Tisay was in Manila while RJ and me was here now. Leaving home to settle for a strange land is an unexplainable feeling. I feel very happy thou one part of me still crying. After nearly five (5) months now. Wow! It has been nearly 5 months. Who would have guess that...hehehe... (sigh) Oh yeah, its been that long now and I thought that I may get to moved on here, that I may not be able to bring back the ol' mem'ries that I used to have back home, reminding me of the good ol' days I've had with my loving mother. But it seems now that my thoughts are in that kind of situation wherein I always wish she was here. Coz deep in my heart, this is the life she wanted. The life she ever dreamed of having for our family. And each time that I lay in bed, I always give it a sigh that I can only wish that Mama was still alive and she's with us eating her favorite dishes like the prawns, dimsum and dumplings and many other foods I am sure she'll love to eat. It always makes me wander why life is so unpredictable. I always thought of this is the life she deserves to have but she never gets to live in it. (sigh...inhale...exhale..)
Living here in Australia has so many predicaments. I am slowly settling down here. But I am not sure for how long shall I be able to handle the emotions kept inside. It tears me apart. One thing good I know for sure, it helps me to re-think about myself. The moments here are making me stronger each day. It helps me to know myself even more... It makes me understand something in me... It makes me to re-live the dreams in my life... Isn't it good? Yah, I know. I have been sleepin' in dreams for so long now... Actually, I am still wondering if I will be able to wake up fulfilling the dreams in me to become a reality. I am praying. There's HOPE inside me but I won't expect to avoid pressure. There's a tough battle ahead of me here. That's the only thing I know for sure. And the only weapon I have is my FAITH. That's the only one I am holdin' onto.
Speakin' of sleeping in dreams... For a week I've been sick here, and now I am recovering though I still feel chest pains time to time and got difficulty in breathing each time. Y'know what makes me bring to writing again here? It's because of my Mama. I get to dreamed of her again. It makes me missed her even a lot more nowadays. It's been good and bad... I know I may sound weird here but the very last dream encounter I had with Mama just hours ago (the very reason I am still awake is because I am afraid to fall asleep and I might not be able to handle to wake up again from that kind of dream...Coz I know that inside me, I really missed my Mama and wanted much to be with her and with lola again), I was running to her. I am running to be with Mama coz she's just right there waiting for me. I am almost there, close enough to reach her hand and embrace her again, when Papa had me waking up. (sigh) This wasn't the first time... I don't know what is the message of my dreams about Mama. But I'm feeling kinda scared and weird. Though, I must tell that I am not that so scared now to die coz I know and I am sure that Mama and Lola will be waiting for me at the next bend of my life. (I can't still breathe thoroughly. Asthma attack still ongoing...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv7C27b_SEM
It is truly painful to part ways without saying goodbye to the person you love, that means the whole world to you...
As part of me sayin' I missed my family, I made a family picture, that even on that kind of frame, I know that WE ARE TOGETHER even without my beautiful and loving mama... Wherever I may go, I will always bringforth the love and mem'ries we've shared, I will always find my home with you... ♥
with all my love,
♥ Obelle ♥
signing off now. Good night everyone! Oh, good morning as well...lols... It's early mornin' now...☺
One last day to spend to rest...then GO back to the world of work again... (sigh) hehehe
But I now know, I am much of a better person now when I go out there...
Bein' sick is not at all that bad after all, It has its own good sides, I've got to spend time
with myself, with my thoughts, with my soul,
and with God...♥
